Agnes’ Dreams

Agnes woke up with an uneasy feeling. She had had a nightmare and hadn’t slept well at all. It was nasty feeling to welcome Monday tired as if you haven’t slept in days. She especially hated the fact that she had to go on and clean people’s houses all day while they get to rest. She frequently felt like a Victorian maid. The only difference was that she cleaned different people’s houses. She felt life was so unfair. Why did some get to do nothing all day and yet have so much money and others would bust their arses from work and yet have nothing. Thinking about this was a really bad day to start the week but what could she do? It was something she had been thinking about for a while and in all honesty, she was right. Life wasn’t fair. It was sad that she couldn’t accept it and yet could do nothing about it, either - she had no education, no wealthy relatives, she had hardly any hope of things changing. Day after day she would go to work and day after day she would feel the unfairness of life. With every bathtub she scrubbed, she felt her mood worsening. With every carpet she washed, she felt her soul darkening. With every house cleaned, she felt a little part of her was dying. What had she done to deserve this? When she was growing up she had dreamt of being in the elite society, she had dreamt of a glamorous life. He had dreamt about life with many secrets and intrigues, where nobody is as they seem. She had dreamt of being recognised. Instead, all the blood in her veins, all the air in her lungs, all of her life force was aimed at serving others. Instead of meeting her prince, love was but a distant light in the dense fog. Nothing was as she wanted it.

Agnes got dressed for work. She felt that with every day she was becoming more depressed and dysphoric. There was nothing in her life to give her strength, to keep her going. She didn’t have all the energy required to change things. She wasn’t young, either. It was hard for a 37-year-old woman to succeed in anything, especially when she failed miserably when she was younger and had no education. Agnes’ dreams were slowly sailing away on a shady boat filled with unkept promises, broken desires and forgotten hope. She would continue working day after day, doing the same thing. She had realised she would probably never find love, it was too late for that. She would never have the life she wanted. She would never bring about the change in her life she so heartedly desired. It was time to go to work, where nobody would care about her hopes and dreams.